7 minutes and 16 seconds

Gettin' painterly! Look at that close-up!

I've been meaning to do this since the music video came out. Kanye West's Runaway has incredibly beautiful imagery in it. The shots are visually striking and resonated in my memory for several months. The use of color is fantastic, watch it and prove me wrong! ...He also makes two sleepy hollow references in the album. I have no idea why, but I dig it.

"Icabod Crane with that mothafuckin' top off"

and

"So much head, I woke up in sleepy hollow."

Anne Frankenstein

If a scientist were able to actually make a dead body animate, I think Anne Frank truly deserves it more than most.

Ain't Necessarily So

If I were given a choice to have any voice imaginable, I would take dear Ella Fitzgerald's. Her strong crooning voice always provides a soothing escape comparable to floating down a river on an inner tube on a breezy summer day. Listening to her bluesy improvisations and crystal clear alongside Louis Armstrong's bizarre guttural calls. It fascinates me to think that such a knock out voice belonged to a woman who was notoriously shy. I feel that. I've noticed that I get so self aware when performing, even when telling a joke it causes me to slow my speech and say each word with careful deliberate pace. There's something about knowing the answer to a joke while telling it, the excitement of having the knowledge makes me want to explode and circumvent to the punch line entirely.



They tell all you chillun
The devil's a villain
But ain't necessarily so.

To get into Heaven
Don't snap fo' a second
Live clean! Don't have no fault!

Oh, I takes that gospel
Whenever it's possible
- But with a grain of salt!

a late night moment

Double stuffed Oreos always leads to exploration of possibilities nestled between two chocolate wafers. If something can be doubly stuffed, is there a limit to stretching the ratio of dark to light components in America's household delight? Based on tonight's experience, no. Although, one might need to take a walk outside after eating an experimental seven-layered stuffed Oreo cookie.

Everyday Dubstep by 5secondfilms

Pretty much sums up the dubstep trend.

did I invite you to my kegger?

Imagine a small cabin by the lake, a dozen or so people gathered around the beach, twenty pounds of hamburger patties consumed by sunrise, and a three person canoe filled to the brim with beer.

We had house music blasting or people with guitars jamming and a bonfire about five feet tall with firewood that a guest of the party chainsawed earlier in the night. Someone passed out on the rocky beach... AND it wasn't me! This is an improvement from the night before when someone passed out in the parking lot.

Oh, and when I woke up the next morning I saw a kid who fell into the fire. I could tell because he had a giant hole in his shirt with ash on it and other than his ankle cuff his entire right pant leg was missing from the pocket down.

All in all, a successful kegger was had by all. This is an accurate tale that documents an average gathering in the Adirondack park. Welcome to my childhood!

Here's "Time to Pretend" a track from MGMT's first album. Benjamin Goldwasser is from my hometown, and I always thought that this song feels like when you miss being from Westport. Perhaps I'm getting a bit nostalgic already.

I'll miss the playgrounds and the animals and digging up worms.
I'll miss the comfort of my mother and the weight of the world.
I'll miss my sister, miss my father, miss my dog and my home.
Yeah I'll miss the boredom and the freedom and the time spent alone.

Every Day You Play, Pablo Neruda

Every Day You Play

Every day you play with the light of the universe.
Subtle visitor, you arrive in the flower and the water.
You are more than this white head that I hold tightly
as a cluster of fruit, every day, between my hands.

You are like nobody since I love you.
Let me spread you out among yellow garlands.
Who writes your name in letters of smoke among the stars of the south?
Oh let me remember you as you were before you existed.

Suddenly the wind howls and bangs at my shut window.
The sky is a net crammed with shadowy fish.
Here all the winds let go sooner or later, all of them.
The rain takes off her clothes.

The birds go by, fleeing.
The wind. The wind.
I can contend only against the power of men.
The storm whirls dark leaves
and turns loose all the boats that were moored last night to the sky.

You are here. Oh, you do not run away.
You will answer me to the last cry.
Cling to me as though you were frightened.
Even so, at one time a strange shadow ran through your eyes.

Now, now too, little one, you bring me honeysuckle,
and even your breasts smell of it.
While the sad wind goes slaughtering butterflies
I love you, and my happiness bites the plum of your mouth.

How you must have suffered getting accustomed to me,
my savage, solitary soul, my name that sends them all running.
So many times we have seen the morning star burn, kissing our eyes,
and over our heads the gray light unwind in turning fans.

My words rained over you, stroking you.
A long time I have loved the sunned mother-of-pearl of your body.
I go so far as to think that you own the universe.
I will bring you happy flowers from the mountains, bluebells,
dark hazels, and rustic baskets of kisses.
I want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees.

Nazi Blow Up Dolls

During World War II, German soldiers were getting STDs in droves because of all their activity with French prostitutes. As any concerned commander would do, Hitler ordered blow-up dolls that would fit into the troops’ backpacks.
Hitler personally approved the plan for the "gynoid" dolls, portable blow up dolls. They were small enough to fit into the troops' backpacks. They were tested by soldiers in Nazi-occupied Jersey and Himmler was so impressed he ordered 50 for his own troops.
Nazi scientists developed "synthetic comforters" for German soldiers stationed in Paris. The project began in 1940 after SS chief Heinrich Himmler wrote: "The greatest danger in Paris is the widespread and uncontrolled presence of whores picking up clients in bars, dance halls and other places. It is our duty to prevent soldiers from risking their health for the sake of a quick adventure."
But in 1942 the project was halted when German soldiers refused to carry the dolls because of the potential embarrassment if they were captured by the enemy. The idea fizzled out and the place where they were made and all the dolls were destroyed in the bombing of Dresden.

The Cracks Begin To Show

Freestylers- Cracks feat. Belle Humble

I first heard this song while meeting my best friend's current male interest. His friends were doing nitrous for most of the night, it was weird. Reminded me of home, but in a more twisted Albany version. Oh, and the guy is a jerk. Whoever brags about getting a 3.0 in pre-med school doesn't really understand how competitive med school is.

Fashion and shit

Directed by photographer Tony Kelly for American Apparel, featuring world renowned breakdancers Jalen Testerman and Lil Demon. This is really just a bizarre advertisement. That kid has some talent though.

...After looking through his online portfolio, I don't really understand what makes something fashion photography? Well, editorial fashion, I suppose. Here are some of his more tame images:

Some of these images were from a French Playboy magazine, but I can't really tell which ones are just editorial. Selling fashion and selling sex, is there a difference? In Adam Curtis's documentary, 'The Century of the Self' the idea that psychologically advertising pulls out the dregs of the animal within the human mind and focuses on our carnal instincts to sell goods was presented.

Paul Mazer, a Wall Street banker working for Lehman Brothers in the 1930s is cited in the documentary: "We must shift America from a needs- to a desires-culture. People must be trained to desire, to want new things, even before the old have been entirely consumed.... Man's desires must overshadow his needs."

Bittersweet Ending

dans la douceur de l'air,
dans la lumière de jardin

et le regarde...
et le regarde...
et le regarde.

Another portrait!

Here's a watercolor of Woody Allen that I did today while listening to an interesting NPR's Radiolab podcast about communication between artificial intelligence and humans. This guy had essentially a computer talking to his secretary just asking her questions based on the secretary's responses, and they had a complete conversation. Example:

Secretary: You remind me of my husband.
Computer: Why do I remind you of your husband?
Secretary: Because you don't put up a fight.
Computer: So you don't think I put up a fight?

The secretary actually told her boss to leave her alone while she talked to the thing. Incredible. It was suggested that this could change psychology forever, but I disagree. If we knew it was a machine giving us responses, I do not think we would get the same results. If it were secretly done, maybe. There's just something enigmatic about dealing with another human, something unpredictable that gives me a jolt of energy just interacting with another person.

Pablo Neruda

Lost in the Forest

Lost in the forest, I broke off a dark twig
and lifted its whisper to my thirsty lips:
maybe it was the voice of the rain crying,
a cracked bell, or a torn heart.
Something from far off it seemed
deep and secret to me, hidden by the earth,
a shout muffled by huge autumns,
by the moist half-open darkness of the leaves.
Wakening from the dreaming forest there, the hazel-sprig
sang under my tongue, its drifting fragrance
climbed up through my conscious mind
as if suddenly the roots I had left behind
cried out to me, the land I had lost with my childhood---
and I stopped, wounded by the wandering scent.

A Series of Questions

"This ongoing body of work explores the power dynamics inherent in the questions asked of transgender, transsexual, genderqueer, gender non-conforming, and gender-variant people....

Many documentary photographic projects that deal with trans issues exploit the genders of their subjects, pointing to an "otherness" or inappropriately exoticizing their bodies. A Series of Questions seeks instead to make visible the transphobia and gender-baiting that can become part of everyday interactions and lives, forming a fuller picture of the various lived experiences. In so doing, this work contrasts with the dehumanizing approaches that predominate the images made of transgender, transsexual, genderqueer, gender non-conforming, and gender-variant people, which often focus solely on their gender or trans status, or use them to further a specific point about social construction and gender....

As a greater number of subjects and questions are accumulated, a relentless conversation of questioning emerges. Attention is directed not on the backgrounds of the transgender, transsexual, genderqueer, gender non-conforming, or gender-variant subjects, but on the dynamics at work in these conversations. I am interested in uncovering the typology of these questions, discovering what categories of questions emerge as the script of power dynamics and interrogation is flipped." - L. Weingarten, photographer

What I love about these portraits is that it digs deeper than just the image of the subject. These capture their hardships and the pointed questions they have encountered giving the pieces a narrative quality that includes an unseen person. When I look at these images I create that person saying the quotes on the signs and I start to empathize with the subject. The questions are invasive. These are pointed queries to inflict hurt and to stamp someone with abnormality. When will people learn to just accept one another and to let each other just be?

A Watercolor

Today while watching Woody Allen's Manhattan Murder Mystery I did a watercolor painting. Just a simple fun piece with a little whimsy in it. (6"x12")

A Mid-Twenties Perspective

This morning my roommate and I were discussing what happens to people in their mid-twenties. He argued that at that point in life, just a hop skip and a jump away from undergraduate school, people have three main pathways to take. This can be avoided by immediate entry to graduate school. Forget being real. The academic bubble will be there. For the rest, they will find a job and succumb to one of the following:

1. Get immersed in a relationship or die tryin'. People in this category might get married, or just act like they are. Rarely seen without the other half present.

2. Pick up a hobby to do in your spare time, often thrill-seeking or somewhat dangerous. Frequently seen in digital photos from Mount Everest on facebook.

3. Go to work, come home, watch TV, sleep, repeat. This is a disappointing life with The Abyss.

Even the protagonist from The Graduate follows this pattern. The main character goes through an interesting character arc combining all three pathways! What a guy! I'll break it down for you. In the beginning of the classic film, Benjamin Braddock played by a bizarrely young Dustin Hoffman (c'mon, I was born in '89 and he is famous in my generation for Meet The Fockers - mostly) is stuck giving Mrs. Robinson, a guest from his graduation party a ride home. Naturally, she drops trow and seduces the poor young man. Frightened, he runs away.

At this point in the film he is experiencing The Abyss, he just graduated and has no direction to go in life. Benjamin realizes this and turns to another mid-twenties option. He becomes a thrill-seeking hobbyist! Sleeping with Mrs. Robinson is exciting and new! Conversations are somewhat lacking with Mrs. Robinson, but Hey! people don't go bungee jumping to see the world upside down, right? It's not like he wants to immerse himself in a relationshi- oh, wait...

Turns out, he goes on a date reluctantly with no one other than Mrs. Robinson's daughter, Elaine. Things start out rocky, not many first dates include strippers with tassles... but turns out he really likes her. Hello, character arc! The rest of the film follows his desperate attempt to woo his mistress's daughter and hilarity ensues. Despite not having a relationship with her he's definitely immersed in thoughts of Elaine.

I felt some relief knowing that I have another two years to avoid the despair of the mid-twenties, but two years are going to go quickly. Currently, my main goal after grad school is to not end up in the suburbs or upstate New York where I think the abyss factor is much higher. There is no novelty in the suburbs, the abyss seems to be the only option. The combination of cookie cutter house shapes, the perfectly manicured grass and the picket fences is worse than the feeling you get when peering over the edge of a mountainous cliff.