The other day I had a patient whose life truly gripped me. Here I am, a 21- year old graduate PT student struggling with the ever looming situation of having my long term boyfriend teach English to kids in Italy for 9 months, while a young woman comes in, has already given birth, dated a guy for many years before marrying him is teeters on the brink of a real life changing event. They are now awaiting order from the US army to discover where in the world they will be stationed. She has been told it could possibly be somewhere in Asia, but it is uncertain. Somehow she is able to deal with leaving her entire family, well-known culture and any semblance of a stable life to travel across the world where she will be berated with accusations of marrying as a direct result from pregnancy from the group on the base, with no stable support from her family or close friends. Treating her for a physical diagnosis seems insignificant after hearing about her life. What physical relief I could give her will only slightly diminish the weight I imagined was upon her shoulders.
After she shared this with me it made me realize how unprepared I feel for life sometimes. Sure, I could be completely self sufficient but to have a newborn with a husband on active duty, people dependent on me for support and life, feels impossible at this time. I am unabashedly reliant on others. Decision making is not the issue here, I believe there is no better person to guide you in life than the royal we. However, when it comes to maintaining my usually happy-go-lucky way of existing, it takes a solid surrounding group of wonderful people. This is not a good thing or a bad thing, I live my life with others but not according to others. Someone else could potentially feel happy using their own internal mechanism (I'm talking introvert on the Myers-Briggs, what UP), but this is just who I am.
The patient I treated is so brave and courageous it astounds me. Even with her future awaiting a single phone call she exuded such a vibrant air. She was effervescent and lively, seemingly untouched by the chaos surrounding her. It seemed like she was so at peace with it. Having this zen in her life is a finely crafted skill. I do not know how she has come to that point so young in life, it is a wisdom or understanding perhaps that I have only observed with older generations until now, but I envy her ability and hope one day to get to that point in my life.
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